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DezNat Roundup: WaPo story, Adam Smart, Failing SLTrib

What a time to be alive. We are members of a very successful religion, which means it must be true as well!

Of course, I’m referencing the bombshell news that dropped Tuesday in the Washington Post where an alleged whistleblower and former church employee filed a complaint with the IRS where he claimed the church has $100 billion sitting on ice in an investment firm and has committed tax fraud by using it only to help the church’s for-profit businesses.

I have been laughing for the last few days as the internet tried to make sense of the news considering how complex the topic is. They want to break it down into a digestible anger nugget to rage on.

The reality is, at this point there isn’t much to go on besides this guy’s word. The church hasn’t said dick about their finances since 1959 and I don’t see that changing despite the pressure from this story. We also won’t know whether there is any merit to the tax fraud until after the IRS has looked into it, which could be years.

With that said, let’s dive in for cold hard opinion:

Instead of spending $100 billion on bounce houses and rollercoasters for every chapel like this dope is apparently insinuating, they should have used most of that money on charitable giving in addition to what they already do give.

The cool thing about having $100 billion is that you can give $50 billion to charity and still have FIFTY BILLION DOLLARS! Am I taking crazy pills?!

According to our friend the whistleblower, it takes $6 billion to operate the church for a year. Keep enough to operate the church for a few years and do good with the rest. If shit hits the fan down the road in such a way that there is zero revenue coming in, maybe we have bigger problems than being able to pay for the production of new lesson manuals and P.R. campaigns for Christmas.

Michelle sums things up nicely. The church has every right to save all that bread. It just hurts to think of your hard-earned tithing money that you could have spent on Pantera tickets going into an investment account like there aren’t 100 billion ways to help people right now.

Blind obedience is a virtue.

I don’t deny the divinity of tithing. When it serves as a gatekeeper of temple admittance, however, I grow skeptical. I’m not angry. It’s just the price you pay when money is involved. You expect no questions to be asked, J. Reuben? Of course you don’t. You’ve modeled yourself after an anti-intellectual proponent of blind obedience to “follow the brethren.” In large part, we have you to thank for the retrenchment era of church history in which we modeled ourselves more after Protestant fundamentalists than by following the dictates at Mormonism’s core.

Like I said, saving money is dope, and it’s smart for the church to have reserves. The sheer magnitude of the reserve funds is what leaves me feeling cheated. To make matters worse, the DezNat crowd has conflated rich and righteous, powerful and just in a way eerily reminiscent of the U.S. government and military might where the strongest weapons seemingly dictate absolute morality.

The hashtag #MakeItATrillion has been making the rounds as if to say, they hope the church swells its investment worth from $100 billion to a trillion. It’s sickening. Consider the wealth inequality in America alone and then bear in mind what a trillion dollars sitting in an investment firm would mean to the downtrodden and disadvantaged sector of society.

Forget that, though, the church needs to amass unthinkable sums of money so they’ll be the most powerful “church” in the world.

This is a joke that I genuinely believe most DezNats see as a practical reality. Money is power. Power is superiority. Superiority is justice.

I better move forward before I pop a blood vessel thinking about these creeps.

Sam Brunson is a tax law expert who wrote an illuminating blog for By Common Consent Wednesday in the immediate aftermath of the Post’s story. Above, his thread dives into the statements the church made in response to the story.

He underscored how I was feeling when I was shaving Friday night and pulled my phone out to read an email from the church in which it ignored all of the relevant criticisms being circulated. Does the church think its members are dummies who won’t notice they aren’t saying anything that matters?

We KNOW you do good things. No one is saying you don’t!

Let’s tie a bow on this section with a tweet where a DezNat man blows himself:

Adam Smart

The Salt Lake Tribune published a heartbreaking story last Sunday on missionary Adam Smart who was hassled and intimidated by his mission president over his support of gay marriage. The president went out of his way to torment the kid in a temple recommend interview and went off script asking about his mother who is gay and his thoughts concerning the topic.

He went as far as to spiritually and intellectually shake the kid down, refusing to issue a recommend and then, shockingly, giving him an ultimatum: change your opinion or there’s no place for you in my mission.

Eventually, the mission president’s heart was softened and he encouraged the Smart to stay out there, but it was too late. His heart wasn’t in it anymore and he chose to go home.

All of the life-changing experiences and opportunity for growth for this young man were stripped from him. What’s truly depressing about this story is that the mission president eventually made the right decision. He realized the err of his ways. He repented. It wasn’t enough to make up for the damage done, though.

Unfortunately, this mission president and the Seventy he convened with are going to have to wear this one for the rest of their days. They have a special responsibility to look out for this poor kid going forward. To do everything in their power to help him grow spiritually and emotionally in ways he could have had he been able to serve his two years in the field

Let’s hear what our DezNat friends have to say about this.

Ah, that’s right. Adam Smart didn’t deserve to be there because he’s an apostate. Only creeps like you deserve to remain in the fold.

Church Handbook Addition

The church made an addition to their handbook this week now banning speakers from mentioning their sexual orientation or expressing romantic behaviors in the church.

That was a double-edged sword as it would have kept a brother in my singles ward from bearing a beautiful testimony last month on how despite him being gay, he still felt at home in the gospel of Christ and at church. It was a powerful moment that would be banned going forward.

It would also ban President Oaks from bemoaning the gay agenda in every one of his talks, forcing him to forge new ground.

Then the church made a slight variation that made a world of difference and is something we can all come together on.

Except, of course, the DezNat folks, who bristled at the addition. They were foaming at the mouth for the opportunity to have more control over the life experiences allowed to be conveyed over the pulpit.

The man’s head is so far up his ass, he thinks the church made an edit for grammar purposes and republished the handbook instead of tweaking the meaning of the sentence.

I can’t…

Trump’s America and the Media

By now you’re all familiar with rhetoric President Trump reserves for the critical media coverage of him. Well, over 60 percent of Mormons voted for Trump and that has taken its toll on members of the church.

The Salt Lake Tribune has published a number of articles on the church’s newly discovered wealth and it has DezNats in a huff.

Where have we heard that phrase before?

Really, though, let’s avoid the historical voice of reason in a state devoid of healthy public discourse.

Evidently this bloc of people does not understand how the opinion section works in a newspaper. The pieces they’re criticizing are op-eds. No reporter has called for church members to quit paying tithing.

DezNat and Trump supporters: two groups of people who are embarrassed to read journalistic sources.

Is it any wonder why people think we’re a cult?

Rapid Fire

Ah, yes, a DezNat hallmark: a binary worldview weaponized against anyone who doesn’t pretend to be perfectly aligned with the institution of the church.

It’s a nice attitude though. Kick the fence-sitters out of the fold. Go on, now, get! Get out of here! As he bangs a pot with a wooden spoon.

IT guy must not be familiar with the time the church went 100-plus years denying black people their priesthood/temple blessings and spread lies as justification. I can imagine God wondering what they were doing down there at that point, as He is now at doctrines and policies that aren’t right yet.

That would collide with DezNat’s belief in infallibility in name only. I have never seen a DezNat person acknowledge a mistake made by a prophet or apostle.

These degenerates migrated from 8Chan, I swear.

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High life: Top 5 foods to eat while stoned

There you are, in the precarious position of walking past your kitchen after partaking of the fruit of the vine. That sweet aromatic bliss. That botanical bad boy. I’m talking about getting high, people.

You’ve spent the last fifteen minutes dancing in front of the mirror but now it’s time to move on. Quickly you spot a loaf of bread and some bananas on the counter, yet tonight that won’t do.

No, tonight you live like a king.

Or, at least you feel like a king for a couple hours.

Here are the top 5 foods to eat when you’re stoned:

1. Ritz Crackers with spicy brown mustard, sliced ham, and cheddar cheese

I know what you’re thinking, you just said you were a king for the night and you’re eating Ritz Crackers. Well, friends, don’t knock it till you try it. This assortment just never fails. It’s tried and true.

The setup is half of the allure. You lay out nine crackers on a plate then squirt three dollops of mustard on each like Henry Ford’s ghost just taught you how to utilize the assembly line. You cut pieces of ham and cheese into fourths then place them on top and voilà.

The other half of the allure is its small portions. Weed zeroes your attention in to what is directly in front of you. You’re like a clydesdale with those Budweiser blinders on. So, there’s something satisfying about having small bite-sized snacks in front of you. The whole package in one action. No dipping, dunking, or mixing.

Turn SportCenter on and enjoy the spicy mustard fist bump your heightened taste buds.

2. McDonald’s McDouble and Coca-Cola Classic

Unlike the cracker concoction, I don’t eat this one often because obviously it’s terrible for you. But don’t let that stop you from celebrating once or twice a year with this heavy hitter.

My mouth is watering just thinking about the greasy burger and melted cheese as you take that first bite. Oily food is great when you’re stoned and I can’t think of a better ambassador of oily food than the McDouble.

Wash that burg down with an ice cold Coke from the fountain and pray that teenager put enough ice in there. Let the sweetness accent the sodium from the McDouble.

This also happens to be the first thing I ate after getting blazed for the first time. I’m biased, so sue me!

3. Ripe plumbs

You’ve loaded them into the strainer and rinsed them off, now they’re just waiting next to the sink to be demolished. Now you are absolutely blitzed and think these glowing purple orbs were the olive branch of peace in the outstretched hands of the aliens when they stepped off their spaceship.

You pick one up, lean over the sink and take a big bite. It blows you out of the water. The juices burst into your mouth full of flavor. The texture is perfectly squishy with mauve insides, just like the guts of the aliens who gifted them to you.

Eat about five then have some self-control. You don’t want to eat the whole bowl and spend the rest of the night in the bathroom.

4. Mexican breakfast burrito

Every great and lesser city in this nation has one of those run-down Mexican restaurants with an enormous menu, 24-hour service, and a big heart. These joints employ a don’t ask, don’t tell policy that serves the drunkards and stoners well.

It may be Mexican food, but their breakfast burritos are on point. I alternate between Sausage, eggs, potatoes, and cheese and one without sausage and with pico de gallo.

Dip every other bite in ketchup to give it some extra pizzazz and look down every so often at the sheer size of this burrito. This thing is a UNIT. Get lost in the meal. Let your obsession with its deliciousness take over your life for a few minutes.

Rest assured you won’t go hungry after you take care of this beast. In fact, it’s so much food, it has a way of taking your high down a few notches. It’s worth it. You can spark another j as soon as you leave.

5. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

I would be remiss if I did not clear a spot for this cultural delicacy. Prepare yourself, this one may just seize your life for a night. It’s so potent I don’t even keep it in the house unless I feel I deserve it.

Pour a bowl and add some skim milk, then let these delectable squares coated with sugar and cinnamon take you for a ride. First they’ll be crunchy and the milk a crisp, cold temperature. By the end of the bowl, many spoonfuls ago, the squares are soft and soaked with milk while the milk will have been sweetened by the sugar and thicker, like a treat unto itself.

You’re going to eat the entire box, so don’t even fight it. Just keep pouring another bowl when you finish and let the milk turn more and more delicious like the local eatery that never changes its oil, just reusing the same flavors decade after decade.

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DezNat Roundup: Jana Riess, Apostates, Moral Decay

Every week, I find myself at some point spending time perusing Mormon Twitter. This can be uplifting at times, but typically soul crushing and disturbing.

Adjacent to the state of national politics, discussion of religious affairs is just as bad as you would think. Despite plenty of room to meet in the middle, there appears to be two directions members of the LDS church lean (online, at least) – so-called progressives and ultra-conservatives who have coined the moniker “DezNat,” which is shorthand for Deseret Nation.

Progressives are known to be the shrill voices ever screeching from the rooftops of the inequalities persisting (and past) in our faith. DezNat just wants you to shut the fuck up and accept the status quo.

DezNat believes they are blue-blood Mormons because they follow the prophet no matter where their personal agendas lie and no matter how asinine it appears. Progressives don’t necessarily think they are more devout, but believe their values better reflect Christ’s as they campaign to effect change through emotional social media posts.

I tend to side with the progressives most of the time, although I sympathize with how annoying they are.

I don’t yet know how this will evolve. My goal is to post weekly on common talking points of that week in Mormon Twitter. This thing will be a lot more fun if you email me interesting or egregious posts, tweets, opinions, news, etc. stonermormon@gmail.com.

Let’s get this party started!

Jana Riess’s column for Religion News Service

This piece ignited a fire that had people from both ends of the spectrum chiming in, which is always fun to see. It’s like Twitter during the Oscars or Super Bowl – everyone has the background information, so commentary is more accessible. Full disclosure: this piece actually really resonated me. It speaks to what’s at the heart of so many of the clashes I personally have had with the church over the years.

That certainly wasn’t the case for all.

From what I can gather, Laura is intimating that Riess has chosen to accept worldly notions over gaining a spiritual witness of church doctrine and policy concerning race, LGBTQ issues, equality for women, etc. I’m not sure what is meant by expecting the government and church to do everything for her.

Actually, wait… I think it’s starting to click. Damnit, Jana! You should have given the priesthood/endowments to black people yourself if it bothered you so much. Instead you wait around for the church to do it for you.

You just want to be spoon-fed ideas that “make sense” and “include everyone.” You should be more empowered to gain the type of testimony that precludes independent thought.

True. Strong families can do a lot for women. Except attain the right to vote, equal wages, Title IX, and the ability to breastfeed in public. The list goes on.

This one is pretty funny. I mean, because Riess wrote that because that’s what LDS leaders have said about gay people. Countless times. Spanning decades. Recently, they have softened their tone quite noticeably. Maybe that’s what he meant. We could get lost in that rabbit hole. The DezNat community doesn’t like to acknowledge gay people’s humanity.

This is a great opportunity, however, to let some judgment bar fantasies play out. They’re fun! Personally, I like to imagine my judgement day like a Gruden QB Camp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=nJtSK9PgQfI&feature=share

Apostates and Moral Decay

Let me take a crack at this: The only people in the headspace necessary to go along with DezNat are those who are also willing to believe a U.S. president who, according to Politifact, tells the truth five percent of the time.

I wouldn’t want to unduly lump DezNat in with MAGA Country. Tell me different if I’m wrong.

I don’t think it’s fair to let one bad apple characterize an entire group of people, so I’ll give DezNat the benefit of the doubt on this Josh Lower character. With that said, look into his eyes. There’s an icy darkness in there that reminds me of Dylan Roof. That’s the kid that tried to start a race war by murdering people in a bible study at a historically black church.

Take note, DezNat! Let this be a warning of what can happen if you aren’t careful with your rhetoric.

I see Sifter’s point, but hate the attitude. We should be looking inward to cleanse our church. When teams stopped playing BYU in the ’70’s, it accelerated the process of having the priesthood ban removed. If a higher percentage of young people are leaving the church, there’s a problem with it. To leave is not an easy decision devoid of terrible consequences. Our faith is so intertwined with family, it alters relationships for the rest of their lives. It’s not simply a lack of faith.

This DezNat man, who evidently believes masculinity is synonymous with power according to the book he wrote, homeschools his kids in order to control the information and structure of their education. Nothing too outrageous about that, except for the poor kids who will in the best-case scenario turn out as mild freaks. C’mon, you know what I’m talking about. Homeschooled kids are WEIRD! There’s not even an exception. You can know a homeschooled kid for years and then one day you notice them listening to ’30’s swing music while they run on the treadmill and suddenly it all adds up.

I have to quibble with the language used to describe his wife as well. I would make the case that even women who work during the day are full-time moms. They don’t quit being a mom while they work in the same way a man doesn’t quit being a father while he’s at work. Onward…

The moral rot that exists in government schools! I have no idea what that means or to what he’s referring to. It’s outrageous, that’s for sure. The Guzman would need to expand on this for me to properly respond. I’m not sure how many morals I was taught in public school other than to treat others with respect, be kind, and for the love of god, do not run in the halls. Head scratcher.

*Live look at me after publishing this blog.

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Don’t buy the jeers from The Great & Spacious Building

While preparing for my Elders Quorum lesson recently, I came across Lehi’s dream in 1 Nephi, chapter eight. You know the one. The Tree of Life. I had not given the vision much thought for years and after deciding to make it the focal point of my lesson, I had a new perspective on this parable that we’ve all heard hundreds of times.

At some point I decided that I didn’t care much for this story because of its binary nature – good people holding the rod, bad people mocking from the great and spacious building. My worldview suggests a more nuanced understanding of people. They aren’t good and bad – they’re both. There better be a sturdy bridge across the river that seperates the two groups, I thought, because flip-flopping abounds.

Safe to say I still have a number of concerns with the universality of the allegory. That’s not to say I haven’t discovered newfound value in it. As I thought about my place in the story, I realized, one of the truly damaging tactics the douche bags in the great and spacious building use to mock those on the path to eternal life is that of the all-or-nothing rhetoric. Pick any one of the thorny issues in our doctrine and history – especially the ones that bother you – and they have a jeer.

You know they don’t support gay marriage, they taunt, and you’re going to support an institution like that? You’re complicit in it!

You understand they didn’t give black people the priesthood until 1978, they condescend. You’re a white supremacist.

These miserable pricks in the great and spacious building want you to take the one or two or eleven major concerns you have with the church and let the foundation of beliefs you have built over a lifetime topple over.

You don’t believe the LDS church is the only true church? Then why do you even still attend?

Your bishop said that? You need to leave the church.

This idea is no longer unique to our church community, it has now made its way to society at large. Take the Cancel Culture we find ourselves navigating, for example, where one mistake in the public eye often costs you your career. There’s no due process or a look at the mitigating circumstances surrounding the mistake.

Relax, I’m not pledging my support for rapists and creeps, nor am I condoning in the least what I see the church doing to the alphabet people (LGBTQ+). I’m simply wary of the direction we’re headed when a few disagreements with issues that typically don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things affect the very values being used to be offended.

I am not sitting here trying to convince you to keep going to church when you don’t believe in half its precepts, although I’m not not saying to do that either. Do what you want. But take into account the good the church promotes before you let it all be torn down.

Now I see this mess as originating from the inside out. So many prophets and apostles have said over the years that you either believe in the church or you don’t that it’s not even worth mentioning names. Only recently, however, has the outside world become so hostile in regards to personal religious choices based on singular issues.

Like most young members of the church, I have a few close friends who have left. They cite various reasons, many common, for relinquishing their membership. Although one of them curiously says “because I hate God!” when asked.

…they no longer stand for something but rather, they simply stand against the church.

About half of these friends I see floundering in bitterness and anger after leaving. I’ve noticed that they no longer stand for something but rather, they simply stand against the church. At this point, all of their talents and personality traits that could be used for good are neutralized while they play the role of the bad guy.

You hope that it’s simply a phase they’re going through while they wander aimlessly through the sheet of dust that enveloped their life after they read the CES Letter (half-joking) and their testimony was demolished. Once the dust settles and they have a chance to sort through the pieces of beliefs that remain, you would hope they regain a balanced outlook; able to separate the valuable from the useless (for them).

I still remember how I was overcome with the Spirit when I read the gospels for the first time. In Matthew 18:21-22, when Peter is like seven is enough, right Lord? Seven seems like plenty. I don’t wanna make an ass of myself. Then Jesus answers him like that big brother who knows how much his little brother looks up to him. Until seventy times seven, Christ says.

I was humbled.

What a wonderful place this world would be if we all loved our neighbors more and forgave as Christ charged.

So, when I struggle with the minutia – and the big stuff – I remember what it all comes down to.

Go to church to be reminded to do good. Take the sacrament if you followed Christ’s example that week. Support a framework that perpetuates goodness and good works.

It doesn’t always have to be perfect fit, folks. We can absorb the force for good while eschewing the undesirable.

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By way of introduction

I’m not for mass appeal

As you can likely already tell, I am not a stereotypical blog for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I’m certainly not a typical Stoner. The name of my blog alone is a contradiction in some of your minds and blasphemous in others. I get that. You might be asking yourself, Mormon and Stoner – do you ENJOY being persecuted?

What I hope to accomplish, however, is finding a place for me to express my religiosity and interests without feeling the need to keep them separate. I’ve seen over the last couple of years a growing number of blogs and social media accounts claiming to be “real” members of the church, or “true” Latter-day Saints. This concept rings hallow for me as anyone who in good faith proclaims themself a member of our church, has the right to be a “true” or “real” person in the body of Christ.

I don’t claim to be more righteous or correct than any other member, although naturally I hold my own opinions. What I do claim to do, through this blog, is take an unflinching look at myself, the church, and my place within the church while hoping to normalize people like me. There’s a common sentiment within our community that our testimony and conviction to living the gospel as set forth by the institution of the church is an all-or-nothing commitment. I venture to say that life is not so simple and that idea is not realistic.

By taking a black and white approach to which actions and perspectives are deemed within the bounds of our religion, I believe we are limiting the potential of our church. That’s not to say all actions or beliefs can comfortably abide within its precepts. I implore the Socratic method to be used in order to define the Christian ethic.

Put in layman’s terms — call me out on my bullshit. Quite frankly, not all my writing can be condoned within the realm of the church and I’m well aware of that. I pray when you do reach out to me, you do so with the hope of actually having a dialogue or voicing your opinion. That doesn’t mean we’re going to see eye to eye, but at the end of the day I will still respect you as a brother or sister in Christ. I hope for the same in return.

I draw from a number of sources when defining my gospel opinions: The LDS canon, discourses, historical text, scholarship, and personal experiences. With that said, one of the more fascinating aspects of our theology is its sticky relationship with folk belief. I’m not above that, but I will try to avoid making statements based in something I heard at Stake Conference ten years ago.

Most of this is devoted to my church-themed posts, but that’s because I can’t imagine the stoner readers I do attract will be as fired up about my opinions as my LDS readers.

If you made it this far, I hope you stick around for more. It’s gonna be fun!

Deuces,

The Mormon Stoner

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Vape pens are the bastardization of a virtuous plant

Marijuana is an herb that, akin to a regional delicacy, should be enjoyed in its most pure form. I’m talkin’ some classical burning. You know, the kind sparked by a match with a red tip.

Well these days it can be difficult to find an OG pot smoker under the age of 25. Being swept across the marijuana landscape like a brushfire on a mountain is the oil vape pen craze. Even old people have succumbed to this bastardization of a virtuous plant.

The idea is simple: oil is secreted from the flower itself using a few different methods, but typically chemically induced. This process creates different types of what is commonly referred to under the umbrella term as dab. This dab is then mixed with a solution and voilà, you have extract oil ready to be vaped out of a pen with a battery cartridge.

It’s like the Smucker’s Goober product where they mix, in the same jar mind you, peanut butter and jelly. It was bullshit in 1968 when it came out, and it’s bullshit now. It’s like when Ray Kroc decided to quit using real ice cream in McDonald’s shakes. It was bullshit!

I understand I’m coming off as the Get off my lawn! guy, here. I’m not against the idea of vape pens for when you’re in a pinch, I just don’t appreciate them taking the place of a staple in societies tracing back thousands of years.

We’ve been down this road with spice.

For a long time, Swisher Sweets were the thorn in the side of marijuana’s image issue. Combining tobacco paper with marijuana’s fruit of the vine, if you will. For those unacquainted with blunt procedure, you take a cigar, always the cheap brands behind the counter at a gas station, and twist out the tobacco and re-roll it using ground marijuana. Blunts combine a marijuana high with a nicotine buzz, adulterating the high.

As my friend who we lovingly refer to as J-Mart once said when I, naively and innocently, suggested we roll a spliff (a mixture of tobacco and weed), “you want me to smoke rat poison, you motherfucker?” And what a lesson it was. J-Mart is a pot purist and his remark stuck with me.

No longer are blunts the reason I cringe at a concert. A blunt is respectable when placed in line with the newfangled oil pens so pervasively canvassing the nation. It’s like nerds with their contraptions and lame technology have gone mainstream. It’s disconcerting.

Pot is a pleasure to be earned, not to be given effortlessly in the presence of unadmiring watchful eyes. You should work for it — clip the bud from the stem, break the bud into pieces to be ground into the perfect grainy texture. Not to be ground one iota more than is necessary. It is to be carefully pinched between thumb and forefinger and placed into a non-wood pulp paper of choice to be wrapped and sealed with a twist off at the top. I prefer Zig-Zag because of the tight logo, but Raw Natural Unrefined will do.

Or, place those pinches of goodness into a pipe, but definitely not one with Chinese-blown glass, or with paint on it where shoddy workmanship or care will lead to you inhaling noxious fumes.

Burn the plant and inhale its goodness the way God intended it to be. Complete your ritual, partake of your holy communion. If you’re really nervous about the health factors of smoking the plant as opposed to vaping some oil, consider lighting the tip of the joint, holding it upright to allow the flame bulb to travel downward, and as it reaches the arc, or the first hint of bud, begin to pull. This will light your J without the fear of inhaling butane heat from your lighter.

As with nearly every aspect of cannabis, more research needs to be done. Hard to do when it’s a Schedule I drug. I’m looking at you, U.S. government! However, it’s widely believed that vaping marijuana is safer than smoking it because vaping activates the cannabinoids at a lower temperature than combusting the flower (burning). Because of this, less tar and fewer carcinogens are entering your lungs than when you smoke pot.

From my anecdotal experience, I’ve noticed how vaping hurts my throat and lungs far more than smoking ever has. The high is not as pure either. When the oil is made, it takes the percentage of THC up from 15-30 percent in a plant to anywhere from 85 to 99 percent. Smoking pot has never been about getting high as shit for me. Okay, there was that summer when I was really heartbroken over Brooke.

Smoking pot is more about taking what the spirit of the plant is offering me than getting blasted to Neptune because you can. That culture is what scares those nescient of its potential and want to keep it from being legalized while locking up anyone who partakes. I am wary of the trend among growers whose seemingly only goal is to see how high they can breed the percentage of THC into the plant.

Certainly, THC is my favorite cannabinoid. But when paired appropriately with other cannabinoids you have the potential to do amazing things with a natural medicine bereft of the soul-crushing aspects of many pharmaceuticals. Just look at how CBD has taken off in the mainstream.

So, when these cartridges of oil are making it as easy as pulling your phone out to get absolutely blitzed out of your mind, I take issue. The ease with which these pens can be stored and transported has turned many of those I know into chain-vapers. Just take a second to let it sink in how fucking lame that sounds.

I’ll repeat myself once more: Pot is a pleasure to be earned, not to be given effortlessly. Have you seen how people are sucking down Juul pods like hot cakes? The same thing is happening with vape pens. Anecdotal, I know, but every one of my friends who use vape pens cannot help themselves. They turn into perma-fried ding-dongs who puff non-stop. I ask, what poses a greater risk to your health – including developing healthy habits in regard to time spent – smoking weed once (or a little more) a day, or puffing on your 99-percent THC pen every five minutes?

Vape pens may appear, and very well be, a healthier alternative to smoking flower, but it’s not without its perils. Sure, you’re not going to get as abundant of high as you would with a flower indexed with cannabinoids, but you might also be inhaling harsh metals. That’s right, you read that correctly. Or just as dangerous: vitamin E, which looks just like dab and also causes deadly lung disease.

As Merry Jane points out, “bootleg carts are sold empty, giving black market dealers around the world the opportunity to fill the ‘branded’ carts with whatever they can get their hands on, disguising potentially pesticide-ridden distillate, heavily-cut oils, synthetic cannabis, or any number of chemical concoctions.”

In other words, it’s easy for any black-market dealer or unregulated dispensary to cut their concentrate oil with something you don’t want anywhere near something you’re going to ingest. They can produce witches brew of whatever they want and simply slap a recognizable brand name sticker on the box.

There’s also this: A vape pen exploded into Texas man William Brown‘s mouth, severing a carotid artery and caused a stroke. He died two days later.

I’m not saying if you vape you’re going to die, I’m just saying.

Grab some choice nugs, grind them up and burn some flower, because there’s nothing better than kicking it old school.

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